It’s that time of the year where, whether you like it or not, we are all bombarded with Valentine’s Day. Questions are raised on what you’re doing if you’ve got a partner and questions are raised if you’re single so there really is no escape. Or is there?
In 2014 my year kicked off with an incredibly messy break up. The kind that you normally watch on TV and think oh god why are they both being such morons. It was one of those ones where I cried a lot and my ex gave very little reasoning to breaking off the relationship and to be perfectly honest it spiraled my life out of control for a while. I spent a vast majority of the year moping and not knowing how to pick myself up. I should have been able to walk away with a few tears but with my head held high, knowing that it was for the best, but at the time I just wasn’t aware that respecting and loving yourself was a thing at all. Fast forward two years and I couldn’t be in a better place. I’m single, but god am I happy. I’m now able to look back and realise that I couldn’t help myself because I had become reliant on someone else making me happy. Then when that person vanished from my life, I genuinely did not know how to make myself feel better.
2014 came and went in a bit of a blur. And then 2015 came rolling in and suddenly I had a chance to start fresh. I know you shouldn’t have to wait until the New Year but it was apparently just the push that I needed, despite being unaware of it at the time. 2015 quickly became the best year I’ve ever had to date and I know that isn’t all that many in the grand scheme of things but I strongly believe that it is going to be a year that sticks in my mind forever.
And do you know why? It’s because when the clock struck 12 and marked a New Year, I decided to live for myself. I started working hard at things that people told me I wouldn’t be able to achieve, just to prove them wrong. I started taking risks. I spent some of my savings that I’d had held in my bank account for donkeys years, purely because I felt that I deserved a treat and rather than having money stacked away that I refused to spend because I was saving for ‘those better days’, I made those better days come to me.
I upgraded my car, I bought a pony, I started pushing myself to do extra-curricula activities at uni, I worked my arse off on all of my assignments, I went on holiday several times, I spent an equal amount of time with my friends and family and cut out the negative people from my life, I ran a charity event that raised over £700 in ONE DAY and I started my own business. I never would have achieved those things if I hadn’t woken up and decided to not only believe in myself, but to respect and love myself too. Relying on someone else so entirely dragged me down to a depth that I didn’t even know existed and learning to be a little bit selfish and love myself showed me that there was this whole other way to live life. I’ve opened up so many doors that I hadn’t even noticed, let alone known that I had locked up. I’ve really begun to live life rather, than than just existing in it. And to be quite frank, it’s amazing.
So, in the run up to Valentine’s I thought I’d get this off my chest and prove to all of you single (and taken) girls (and guys) out there that learning to love yourself is SO important. It isn’t selfish and it isn’t a case of being horrible to others, it’s just a matter of respecting yourself and not settling for second best. Don’t get me wrong, learning to love someone else is equally as amazing and I’m in no way bashing that as I also loved being in love. However, I’m now in a stable enough place in my life where I now value myself enough to know that when the time comes and I fall in love all over again with (hopefully) someone a million times better for me, I’m not going to fall into that same trap as I now know my own worth and I’m not willing to sacrifice that for anyone else!